Life As I’ve Lived It

There’s a movie called “The Bucket List.” As I understand it a “bucket list” is a list of things you want to do before you “kick the bucket” – die. In the movie one man helps another do the things on his list. Now, I’ll admit that I can think of things I’d like to do before I die, but if I made a list it would be of all the things I’ve enjoyed or been privileged to do: experiences I’ve had, places I’ve gone, people I’ve known, etc. It would be a long list and would include family and friends and relationships, trips I’ve taken, things I’ve seen and accomplishments. Not a “bucket list” but a “life I’ve lived” list. To me the “bucket list” feels like a sad thing to write, but a “life I’ve lived” list is full of gratitude and accomplishment. The longer a “bucket list” gets the harder it is to do those things. The longer a “life I’ve lived” list gets the fuller life is seen to be. No “bucket list” for me; no wishing this or that could have happened. Instead I’m thankful for the life I’ve lived, even with the bumps and twists along the way. Oh, and about my dementia… it’s one of those bumps or twists and despite how it’s affected my life and relationships, it doesn’t define me. It can’t erase anything that’s gone before. It may end my life sooner than expected, but it can’t take my life away from me.

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